The Stigma of Failure
I’m not sure about you but as a child or young adult even, the word fail would cause me great anxiety. The pressure to succeed and rise above my circumstances was high. As an adult I now know that pressure was a self-made, internal pressure.
Failing is the ultimate bad word. The word everyone fears and when we internalize this one single word we think of it as the beginning of our end.
We fail class or lose a game, we fail at seeing the truth or walking the line. We miss a chance or lose a job. We neglect a good friend or speak an easy lie. So many ways to fail. It’s no wonder adulting is hard.
I too was under this cloud of “You can never fail” for much of my life. Waking up and doing everything I could to avoid the world’s idea of failure. Then something strange happened, a Disney movie changed my life. I know it’s not that often you hear a grown woman use that sentence. But stay with me I’ll explain, I promise.
The movie that changed my life
The movie is Meet the Robinsons. I don’t even know what year it was. I had resisted seeing this movie as the previews and hype hadn’t really been anything I was interested in. Or so I thought.
I do know it was out on DVD before I surrendered to my children’s constant pleas to see such a silly movie. Little did I know it would be a life changing decision.
The movie is a story of a little boy, Lewis, having grown up in an orphanage and dreaming of a better life. He is an inventor, scientist and just wants to remember what his mom looks like. So when he fails at getting adopted for the 109th time he feels like something wrong with him. Then he meets a boy, Wilbur, on the roof and is whisked away to the future. Now I’m not going to recap the whole movie, if you haven’t seen it you should. It’s a great movie with an awesome soundtrack.
It is during his time in the future Lewis is introduced to Wilbur’s very unconventional family. It is all very over the top and super funny. But one of the most remarkable things about this family is they celebrate their failures??? They see them as a successes and almost enjoy them more than the successes.
To them failure is just a part of life, like getting you adult teeth or growing taller. Just a natural part of being a human and learning. OK, Wow I must have missed that lesson in school because fear of failure is the only motivator my teachers ever used. And as a result I had never seen failure as an even remotely close to good thing.
A new concept in life
I asure you had this concept been shared with me earlier in my life my older kids would have lived an entirely different life. One not afraid of failure. But that as they say is one of my epic parenting failures.
So now when someone fails, I don’t think of it as a bad thing. I think of it as them walking the path of awesomeness. Because historically people who have changed the world failed a lot. Life isn’t about getting it right the first time, it’s about trying something, learning why it didn’t work and having the courage to try again.
So please go out today and fail, then think to yourself “Now I know how to not do this.” Congratulate yourself for having the courage to try, fail and then try again. I think most of us will find the most important thing to know is how to not do something.
44 Comments
I’ve always said, I would rather fail trying then regret not trying at all!
Great post! I definitely experienced the ‘failure’ stigma when I went to college and everyone in my class was super bright, getting upset when they got a ‘B’ etc. I am going to watch ‘Meet the Robinsons’ tonight, thanks for such an inspiring post!
Meet the Robinsons is such an underrated movie! It does have such a great message about failure and success.
It really is the one movie with characters and messages that I think of nearly everyday. I remember it so clearly. I never would have believed so many good things, messages and characters could come in one movie. And yes it is underrated. But then again I have a soft spot for weirdos!!!!
Thanks Michelle!!!
Truly inspirational blog post! I’m going to have to watch that movie soon!
Thank you, let me know if you like it!
True. I had rather regret the things I have done and failed than regretting things I haven’t done. Optimism is best response to failure!
I agree!!! Thanks for your kind words
This is such amazing advice! “Walking the path of awesomeness” – that will be my new motto! Thank you for this!
Thank you Stefani for such kind words!
Lots of movies and books inspire me in my travels. It is really great to find inspiration in these “art forms”. I’m not a fan of kid movies but have recently seen a couple of animated movies and was quite surprised about how much I liked them!
Any more cartoons or comedy is all ill watch. Life is sad, scary or negative enough to pay to watch it.
Id love to have some good books to inspire my travels. Whats your favorite ?
Yes, failure is part of life, every successful person in this planet has failed in some point in life. It’s not bad, you just gotta learn from it. Nice post! Never heard of the movie, will check it out.
I’m going to have to look that movie up! I have never seen failure as a bad thing, just an opportunity to learn a lesson. There always seems to be a life lesson in everything we do.
Thats a great outlook to have. Thanks Jaynie
I’m a big fan of failure! As long as you learn from it 🙂 Everyone fails, it’s how you deal with failure that matters.
Great post 😊
Such a positive post. Thanks!
Thank you Sheena
I’ll have to watch that movie, the more we try the more we fail, but we increase our successes too and learn so much.
Its a great movie, and so many layers and lessons. Let me know how you like it💗
Failures probably teach us the best lessons. But I have to say that travel fails always unnerve me. I like having things go smoothly on my trips!
I do like it even travel goes the way i want it. Lately i have been trying to loosen up on planning so if we have a set back i can bounce back faster. Thanks Tami!
I always had a fear of failure and that’s why I’m so hard on myself. That movie highlights why focusing on failure can consume your life. And, if you decide to let it be a momentary lesson, it could help you bounce back and conquer even more.
True words, as far as I’m concerned, if you’re not failing you’re not learning. How you bounce back from setbacks is essential to shaping the person you be come so as you say, go out, fail, learn, be better!
Fall down 10 times get up 11. Thanks Matt
I failed already – the fail did not happen because of a bad business idea, poor finance management or any other knowledge-related reason – I failed with my first business because I trusted in wrong people who promised me things they did not plan to deliver.
Unfortunately this is a hard lesson, im so sorry this happened but glad you had the courage to keep going. Thanks Lana
Failure is, after all, the only way to grow and get better!
It absolutely is. Thanks
Great post and even better message! Failing helps us learn, be better the next go around, or even open up doors that we didn’t know existed…that is how I look at it.
I totally agree!!!
Such an inspiring blog post!
Until recently, I used to be afraid of failure. I lost a job that I held dearly to my heart because I was in a position that made others see me as a very successful young adult.
After the loss, all that was left was me and my sanity. It was at that moment that I realized what truly mattered–me. My life has been the happiest since that day because from a failure came some of best stories of my life.
Let’s keep on failing!
Im so glad that from failure you could find the good and become a better person from it!
I totally agree. I wrote my college application essay about my biggest failure, and I got a scholarship:) If you’re not failing enough, you’re not trying enough new things.
This is so true. I totally believe that if you’ve never failed, you’ve never tried. I think in some way we’re all afraid of failure, but learning how to LEARN from failure and move forward is what’s most important. Everything happens for a reason, after all.
I also feel the anxiety of failure. And I can already see signs of the same in my little one . I have not watched the movie Meet the Robinsons. I am going to this weekend. I want to develop the same attitude towards failures as what you have shown here
I agree with you that failure should teach us lessons and not put us down. Sure, when a dream collapses and we fail at it we can be sad but it’s important to know not to give up and learn how to attempt achieving it again, this time better.
Great post! Omg I’m in love with it, you are so right!! There is nothing wrong in failing, everybody fails, after all we are just human beings, failing is a natural thing! This: “Go out today and fail, then think to yourself “Now I know how to not do this.”” is something that everybody should always bear in mind! Failing is not failure itself, it is just us, learning
Absolutely inspiring! Fear of failure is my boogeyman. It’s like it follows me around and lurks in my closet. I swear I treat it like it’s a person and I have to look over my shoulder to make sure it’s not following me around. I can’t tell you how glad I am that you shared this post on Krystal’s page today. I needed to read this so badly.
Ashley, I’m so glad this had a positive impact on your day. I hope that Walt Disneys message of “keep moving forward” can be everyone’s morning manta.
As a travel professional who specializes in Disney, I can definitely get behind that 😉
This is fabulous! I honestly believe failure is our greatest chance to grow, as long as we don’t see it as a negative.
I love Disney. And I love that a Disney movie was life changing for you! To be honest, I haven’t seen this one yet. I’ll have to check it out! You really hit it right on about learning from our failures and having the courage to try again. Oh but goodness, it’s still so hard to get over that fear of failure!